Thursday, 5 April 2018

Facing my fears


Hi all

I swore to myself that I would never return to Bradford. I wasted 13yrs of my life there, most filled with tears, loneliness, then finally betrayal and agony.

But tomorrow I will be hosting a stall for my tea company
at the Bradford university. I will be travelling there in a van and at some point we will be going down the same road I had my accident, Manchester Road.

As part of my hobbies the roleplay society I am a part of won the right to host the next games,
 (bit like the geek Olympics) But as we do not have a place to house hundreds of gamers Bradford offered their university.

My stomach sank when I heard this and for the first 6 months blatantly refused to go.
But I have always been stubborn, I see it as a positive trait, and sat down one day with a large whiskey and soda and thought this through.

Apart from us looking alike, if I were to go back and meet the other 'me' she wouldn't recognise me now.  Yes I walk with a limp but under the skin i am stronger, more confident and in a much happier place.

I have my very own home, decorated how I like. The bulk of my friends are only a bus/taxi away.
In the past 6yrs since the accident I have gained far more new friends and helped a lot of people who were not as fortunate as me.

I have flown in a plane, been to Disneyland. Seen a Heron and a hawk up close in my garden and hundreds of other experiences I would not have seen/felt etc if I had died that day.

When I see that stretch of tarmac, that familiar road sign, hell even the bus with the Bradford Bus route number on, tomorrow and the tearful memories start flooding back. I will just take a deep breathe and chant to myself. I am literally Titanium, I am strong, you are just ghosts of another life and you can not hurt me now........NOW BRADFORD GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!! :)

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