Sunday, 6 December 2015

This is the last really!!


Hi all
finally had the op to hopefully get rid of the crunching bone thing.
Well was up at 6am got to hospital for 7:30 didnt have operation till 4pm! Woke up in pain so they gave me morphine and anti inflamatories Then coz nil by mouth since 6pm yesterday the anasthetic made me really ill threw up twice in hospital and again in a bag on lift home in car.
When I finally got home was a bit drowsy then just couldn't sleep so about 3am got up and managed to have some toast.
They found a fragment of bone and large cyst that was pressing on a nerve at the back of my leg so thats been cut out hopefully that should sort it but I don't think they got the right area but cant tell until the swelling goes down.
So I'm back in my pram, I managed to do all my xmas shopping for friends and family last week, wrapped it and got my mum to hand out. So all I have to do is heal now and enjoy Christmas.
heres hoping my Christmas wish that there will be no more operations that this will be it, and my aim for next year is to be walking with my new prosthetic. (which ive now got used to) and be able to walk without a stick.

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

The electric leg


Hi all

I have had my electric leg now for a month and as i previously said i didn't like it. It felt stiff and i felt like i was waiting for it to swing through when i walked.
But i liked the suspension on it. It makes it more comfortable to walk, kind of spongy like you are walking on foam. But i found i still had the old problem of my socket slowly turning when i walked. But as you know i have found a solution to this and quickly stuck on my Velcro.

I was disappointed as i thought with this leg i would be able to go up stairs foot over foot, like a normal person. But what they don't tell you in the adverts is you have to scrape your leg back like a charging bull. This tells the leg you want to take a step, either over something or up something. You then quickly bring it in front of you so your foot is on the step. The problem i have if because I'm short (5ft) i then cant step up as the knee gives way because it thinks i am sitting. I am ok on short steps, just not in house steps. But i will not be using this technique outdoors either because i dont want to kick anyone in the face coming up the stairs behind me. Stupid design flaw.

The only benefits of this leg so far are that i can stand on a slope with out my knee slowly bending, so i can distribute my weight evenly now. Also i can go down slopes but this needs more practise and nerves if steel.
Apparently you can also run with this leg if you attach a blade.

The only other downside as it is electric it has to be charged like a mobile. It has a 5 day life but to check the battery you have to turn it upside down. Another stupid design flaw. Why not just show 5 lights on the side, rather than me having to do a handstand if im camping out!

But this is teaching me to walk upright and correct and as such the scar tissue at the bottom of me stumpy has come loose grabbed a few nerves and now when i walk its kind of a crunch, pain, crunch, pain. So went back to plastic surgeon and im back on the slab in November so will be back in my pea over Christmas, again!
Then (everything crossed) this should be my last operation!

I never thought this would happen


Hi all

I had to take my dog Lilly to the vets for a check up on a lump. She was fine and just had a biopsy. I was able to walk from the bus station with my hydrolic leg and a stick 200 yards to the vets. My mum came with me to help collect lilly because she pulls like mad. When i walk her i have to do it on my mobility scooter with her lead strapped to the handles and even then she pulls.
Well i walked beside my mum up the road, and noticed Lilly kept stopping and looking back at me then walking on and looking back, so i asked mum to let me hold the lead.
It took a lot of effort not to cry as i plodded on and she slowly walked by my side waiting for me to catch up and always looking back at me right up to the bus station.
I never thought i would be able to walk my dogs again for fear they would pull me over but this gave me hope. One day i will be able to walk them in the woods again.

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Accident Photos (very graphic do not click on if easily upset!!)


Hi all

Whilst cleaning out an old computer I came across some pictures I thought I had deleted.
They are of my leg whilst I am on a table in hospital straight after the accident.
They managed to gather everything up and put it in a plastic bag.
These pictures are very graphic close ups of the damage to my leg for court purposes.
(Wasn't as if I could fake having my leg ripped off but hey ho.)

The reason I thought I would put these on here is to show you what I was sat left
holding that day on the road, and after you have seen the shots you will understand I knew then and there I had lost my leg. 

I'm not disgusted or upset by these photos, I feel quite distanced from them like I'm
looking at a movie prop. The only thing that puts a lump in my throat still is seeing my foot with my toenails there looking fine until you follow the leg up.

I guess its a part of self therapy to show you these images so I can say, see this is what I saw when I closed my eyes every night for at least 2 years before I went to sleep.
Now you can understand just a fraction of what I went through. (and still going through). I may have a prosthetic leg now and have all sorts of exciting plans for the future trying to stay positive. But I still have and I think always will have down days, where I just want to throw my leg in a corner and cry.


Wednesday, 29 July 2015

My first flight


Hi all, went on my first plane ride today to Edinburgh Scotland. I was worried about going through security because i had heard all sorts of horror stories of people having to take their legs off in a que in front of people.
But i was fine, just put my loose stuff, laptop, stick, etc. In a tray and sent that through, then i was frisked by a lady and had the tops of my shoes swabbed, didn't have to take them off. Then they ran a wand over me and that was it. Coming back to England only difference was instead of wand i was asked to stand in a scanner.
Don't know if it will be different going out of UK. But i will tell you that next year, when hoping to go to America.
I'm still on the hydraulic with tilting ankle and its great, really good gon uphills. I have to put some sponge pads on my bum cheek and in between my crotch, but that's just because my knicker line chaffs when i walk for long periods. I tied wearing shorts but my bum trys to eat them when i walk so i end up trying to discretely rescue them from my crack whilst walking. So its sponges or short thong.  prefer sponges.

Ive decided now everything has settled to try for the electric leg at PACE its very expensive and part of me wants it to be gold plated for the price. But in the end its suppose to be waterproof and sandproof and i can after practice even jog!.

So i have my appointment today well see how we get on.

Friday, 8 May 2015

New hydrolic Leg


Hi all

got my new hydraulic leg today, very wobbly like I'm walking on sponge. makes a hissing sound when I walk but that's just air in between my grey liner and the white plastic socket. (at least its not making a farting sound).

I was shown how to go up and down a slope. up as great because of the tilting ankle I now have but down was scary as my knee kept bending and I thought I was going to fall. also with this new leg I can now crouch!.

Its still boney around the crotch area, but that can be sorted with sponge.
I was also shown how to walk down stairs. where as before you are told to put your bad foot first then step down. I had to learn to walk normally one foot over the other, and again I was frightened my knee was going to give as I stepped off. But with the help of railings I did it, just got to keep practising now.

below is a photo of me crouching (not laying an egg) a front view of my leg and a short film of me walking.

Thursday, 30 April 2015

3 Years ago today.


hi all well its been 3 years since my accident, its gone by so fast but also in a way slow. Fast in that it seems like it was just this year that I had had my accident and all the bumf that followed.
and slow because waiting for operations, healing, constant leg tweaking.
Below is a picture of my leg now 3 years on. you'll see that its a bit more rounded at the end since I had an inch cut off. Plus my scaring seems to be fading to a more pink skin colour.

I still have my first leg and have been walking around on it now for about 8 weeks. I went to Whitby on my own for a slow plod round and even though my leg didn't hurt my bum seat part chaffed and caused a blister on my ass (not good). But I bought some padded plasters stuck one on my butt and away I went again.

I waiting for my hydraulic leg now, they are doing me a new cast based on the socket I have now. which will have problems as you remember from previous posts how much I had to cut down.
But we will cross that bridge when we come to it, at least I know now I can tweak it myself without having to wait weeks and weeks.

On that subject my grey liner with the pin lock in, I'm currently wearing has a few holes in the front, just in the fluffy grey skin level. The rubber underneath is in tacked, this has been caused by the Velcro I glued to the inside of the plastic socket. to stop my leg slowly rotating as I walk.
well when I went to see my Prosthatist earlier this month, he saw the state of my liner and was not pleased. he said you know they are supposed to last at least 6 months and we have been given our NHS budget and they are £400 each. all I could think was well its working my leg isn't revolving when I walk. If you put a shiny liner in a shiny plastic socket it doesn't matter how tight it is its going to rotate. they need to invent a liner with Velcro on. so there!

I've also cut down and now I'm finally off my last medication which was the amatriptaline. (the nerve damage and depression tablets). I've been a bit weepy and get easily stressed but that's just my serotonin levels returning to normal.

I don't have any more operations due (fingers crossed), my bungalow is sorted and even though to bum part of my leg isn't perfect I can walk on it. so now its a case of plucking up the courage to go on holiday. I'm afraid something will happen, or I'll book it and be legless. I don't know I know I am being silly. we will just have to see.

Take care xx

Friday, 13 March 2015

So far so good


hi all

well I've had my new leg now for 2 weeks and I'm finally back to walking with one stick again, and with no stick around the house.
Below are some pictures of my new bolt on leg.
The metal button on the inside of the knee is what you press to take the leg off, there is a slot in the side of this button and once your pin is in the hole (pictured). You take a coin, best is a 50p and put it in the slot and turn it away from you which pulls you in to the leg and locks you in.
My liner looks a little wrecked only because the holes in the grey skin were made when I fell and they caught on the Velcro I had stuck to the inside.
I'm ok bruised my bum but you are still going to fall, you just got to get back up.
also this liner has a prickly rim at the top and can make you saw with chaffing. I've got round this by buying some thin foam and tucking it around the rim.
This leg is called Mr fluffy for obvious reasons. I didn't want the usual hard leather the Prosthatists put on so I bought some fluff, which I mentioned in my last post and glued on a couple of layers.
may have to think of an alternative in summer but at the moment its comfortable.
also as I said I can now walk in the house without a stick, I would advise getting some stiff hiking boots because these support your foot when walking. I still wear my pumps when I meet up with friends but wear my hiking boots in the garden and round the house.

Velcro ruff side super glued in place

hole which pin slots in

My liner with fluffy part of Velcro glued to it. because you have to roll this off and on you will have to touch up the super glue now and again.

Monday, 16 February 2015

I survived


Hi all

well I survived the Prosthatist he wasn't even a bit angry apparently people 'tweak' their limbs all the time. so few!.

He did agree that about an inch needed to come off the rim and he lengthened the leg. There was still a bit of pain by my bum but I was able to walk with out any groin pain now.

But walking in the bars my leg kept swinging out and round when I walked and my leg kept locking. This is because I had relied on the belt to pull my hip in all this time and now I had to use my inner thigh muscle. So I had to learn to clench my muscle as I walked pulling the leg in straight under me.
This stopped the swinging out motion and the locking.

When I got home I got the Dremel out and cut off some more of the bum shelf part and bought some more Velcro and soft fluffy padding. I glued the padding to the bum rim so it was now comfortable to sit on. Then I put some Velcro on the inside of the socket (because they took it out when I went to see the Prosthatist!) and super glued the soft fluffy bit of the Velcro to my grey liner. This stopped the leg slowly turning in the socket as I walked.

I've now had a few days to practice walking and I can do it with one stick again but I have now found the leg to be too long. which is an easy adjustment I will see them about next week.

My leg/stump/residual limb, does hurt when I first put it on but its not pain caused by the socket but my nerves being squashed about and learning to take weight again. plus the end I had sawn off is only a couple of months old. In time this should ease.

So I have my leg back, lets see how long it lasts this time :) ho and I'm not planning on any more operations that's it!........

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Pin lock review/ trouble


Hi all

well after getting my sandpaper and saw out of the garage and hacking of bits of my leg that stuck in me. (I wouldn't recommend this) It was still painful.
The whole problem with the pin lock system is that its a good idea. you push your grey liner with a pin on the end into a hole in the bottom of your socket and it sinks in until it wont go in anymore, and you cant pull it back out with out pressing a metal button on the inside of your knee. (which sticks out like a mini metal bar and you cant wear anything tight on your leg or it will press the button).

The problems come when the socket is too long, the pin pulls you in and at the same time the bum shelf at the back and your crotch slowly push into your skin until it becomes too painful to walk.
and you cant pull yourself out without pressing the button.

This is the problem I'm having at the moment, I hate the thing. I know when I finally get back into see my prosthatist and tell him look the socket is too long. He's not going to believe me because hes the qualified prosthatist and knows how these this should feel!!!!

So I found out that my old gel liner fits comfortably in the socket, so I got a load of Velcro and glued them to the inside of the leg and stuck my leg in, and hey presto my leg doesn't come off, and its comfortable. But they wont let me keep it like this :(

I will leave it on like this so I can get some practise walking again, and will let you know what happens next.

Sunday, 8 February 2015

A pain in the leg.


Hi all

I got my leg back yesterday, its a pin lock this time meaning the grey liner has a metal pin sticking out of the end and you push it into a hole in the bottom of the socket and it locks.
But as with new sockets this one is horrible. it has a hard plastic outer coating and a softish white plastic lining. and its pushing on my pubic bone at the front and right around the inside of my crotch. when I walk its trying to both saw my in half and squeeze me so you can imagine its really painful to try and take any steps and I have a long red sore developing along my crotch line.

Also the part your suppose to sit on at the back was poking upwards into my bum and making me tilt forward rather than sitting on it.
I did mention this all the prosthatist but during the 4hrs I was there, for tweaks it wasn't getting any better. 'He then said go home and try walk on it for a bit'. 'I know its just because you haven't had a leg for a while, and you need to get the strength back in your hips to walk correctly, and your leg is naturally tilting upwards.'

First off, no my leg wasn't tilting upwards, that happens if you don't do your stretches and the muscle at the front of your thigh becomes tight and pulls your leg up. I know to keep doing my stretches and once I have the weight of the limb it naturally pulls your leg straight.
So that wasn't the problem, and I know I'm a bit wobbly after not walking for 2 months but I quickly get back into it. its the damn socket that's not fitted right!

So he booked me in to see him in 2 weeks telling me to try walking.
As it was a Friday I wore the leg home and I was in my chair, and I really did try to walk at home with the aid of two sticks but it was just too painful. I tried stuffing sponge down my crotch and on my bum seat. That sort of stopped the pain but I couldn't put my full weight on it. so I did something your not advised to do. I went into my garage and got out my dremel and started hacking away at the bits that were bothering me.

First I cut back the bum shelf, just the hard plastic outer lair so the softer rubber could fold over better. That solved that problem. Then I started cutting and filing bits of my crotch.
It stopped it sticking into my pubic bone, but the whole thing around that area was just too tight.  So I stuffed loads of foam down my crotch, and a sponge plaster over my pubic bone area.

I can now take a step without it hurting but its still not right, and I was just so frustrated and I knew when I went back the prosthatist wouldn't believe me when I say its too small at the top its digging in. He won't do another cast, and then he will see the hacking I've done to it and god knows what he'll say.  So I had a really good cry. I'm still upset and frustrated as I write this, I just want it to be sorted, I want my leg back, and I want it to be comfortable is that too much to ask!

I'm going to call them on Monday see if I can get an earlier appointment and get this sorted.

Friday, 16 January 2015

The last operation...i really mean it!


Hi all

Happy new year, well I had my mum and dad and my sister and her fella around for Christmas dinner. I managed to cook it and get them all merry. I'm still in my pram as the leg was just the wrong size and I could not walk without pain. So I went back to Seacroft and got measured up for a new socket.

All the stitches have healed now and there's no pain. I'm getting fitted for a pin lock fitting so I will keep you up dated on how that went.

Also I've had another operation. my left Carpel tunnel. I know I said in previous posts it hurt to much that I would not have the other done. but once I was back in the chair my left wrist got bad to the point where I could not hold up my phone for too long before my whole had went numb.

So I bit the bullet and got booked in, and yes those three injections into the bottom of your hand really, really hurt and this is coming from me, so you can believe me. it wasn't the fact of the needle going in but when they pushed down on the plunger to pump the anaesthetic in boy that makes you grit your teeth. He had to stop twice with the bloody needle in my palm asking me to relax!!

But after that within 10 minutes it was all over, and I was bandaged up and told to keep it elevated in a sling for 5 days, then try exercises. But this time my had was the usual completely numb until the next day, and then it felt fine. Just the pain of a cut on my palm. Where as last time my had was numb then for the next 4-5 days I could not touch my thumb and finger together without pain, it took a while for my had to support weight as well. where as this operation I can move my fingers fine, make a fist and grip. There's still the pain of the cut and its tender but at this rate I should be fine really quickly. I can only think last time he cut some nerve or tendon in my right hand, or he hasn't cut deep enough on my left. God I hope it's not that.

But we shall see, my right by the way is completely healed and no longer has problems.

So I'm down to one arm and one leg again, but that's my last operation. I know I have said this before and something crops up, but I mean it now. I just want a break, from recovering or waiting for fittings or problems. I just want my leg and to go on holiday somewhere. let's hope it's this year this will happen.