Friday, 18 May 2018

The unhappy Darlek

18/5/18

Hi all

Last Saturday I had another operation, I stopped counting at 15. Also I'm not going to say this is the last one either as it seems to jinx it and I have another one.
So this time I had the saggy skin around the top of my thigh sucked and tucked.
So it went from looking like an ice cream to an avocado. :)
This is purely for aesthetic reasons and as the normal skin at the top back of my thigh was no longer attached to anything I could not tone it to make it firm or burn the fat in it. So I asked my plastic surgeon at LGI to tidy it up.
I also had a sore spot investigated on the end of the stump near the Darlek. I thought it was another neuroma, or a bit of stone as it often sent shooting spasms down my leg like it was pressing on a bunch of nerves.
But after cutting into it, it was just a big lump of scar tissue pressing on nerves, so he cut that away taking care not to effect the now sealed hole by my ossio (Darlek).
I have pins and needles pain but no other, which is good if annoying. But I know from past experience that its just my nerves sorting themselves out. Like 50 people trying to get comfortable in a double bed.
Below is a picture after changing my dressings a week on. That's one hell of a shiner but it doesn't hurt to press on it and is already fading. Thanks to my wolverine genes :)
Also the cut they made around the base and top are not bleeding either and I think within another week should be well on their way to stitches dropping out.
This is my super power :)
So I'm back in the pram, but for the first time I can just clip my leg back on and I know I can stand up with out pain. I won't do this (mum) as I don't want to risk splitting my stitches.
I still hate being in the chair though especially as is coming nice outside and I have so many projects to do.
Hey ho time to watch more Netflix and play on my P.C and feel my ass grow. It's a hard life.

Monday, 30 April 2018

6 Years On

30/04/2018

Hi All

Well it's that time of year again, it seems to come around faster each time.
Today especially just take a moment and sit outside if its nice or even if its not.
Take a deep breath and look around, listen to the birds, feel the sun, wind or rain on your face.
See the flowers that are in bloom and look at the trees and clouds.
Yes the garden needs a hell of a lot of work, yes I have shop work to do and other 'small' things in the grand scheme of life. But even you should just take a minute. Switch off that phone, find a quite spot and just sit and appreciate being alive.

On this day 6yrs ago Sue Unsworth a Bradford council H.R worker, who had been single for a year after splitting with her partner she had been with for 12yrs. Who had moved away from her family and friends, who was incredibly lonely and couldn't even afford a bus pass after bills, died today.
And Suzi Unsworth a resilient, fiercely independent (my mother would say stubborn) person was born. She was able to move back to her childhood town where she was the happiest she could remember. She opened up her own business and gained lots and lots of new friends and reconnected with old.
Yes the road has been hard, but there is a saying I would give my arm and a leg for that.
Thankfully my new life only cost me my leg and to get everything I have now I would gladly pay the price again if I was asked do I want to go back and not cycle to work that day.

Remember hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become years just take them in your own time.

So as before there is the progress pics below I will give a big gap as I know some of you might be eating :).














Looks like a line of angry potatoes :)
 

Thursday, 5 April 2018

Facing my fears

5/04/2018

Hi all

I swore to myself that I would never return to Bradford. I wasted 13yrs of my life there, most filled with tears, loneliness, then finally betrayal and agony.

But tomorrow I will be hosting a stall for my tea company www.monstermashteas.co.uk
at the Bradford university. I will be travelling there in a van and at some point we will be going down the same road I had my accident, Manchester Road.

As part of my hobbies the roleplay society I am a part of won the right to host the next games,
 (bit like the geek Olympics) But as we do not have a place to house hundreds of gamers Bradford offered their university.

My stomach sank when I heard this and for the first 6 months blatantly refused to go.
But I have always been stubborn, I see it as a positive trait, and sat down one day with a large whiskey and soda and thought this through.

Apart from us looking alike, if I were to go back and meet the other 'me' she wouldn't recognise me now.  Yes I walk with a limp but under the skin i am stronger, more confident and in a much happier place.

I have my very own home, decorated how I like. The bulk of my friends are only a bus/taxi away.
In the past 6yrs since the accident I have gained far more new friends and helped a lot of people who were not as fortunate as me.

I have flown in a plane, been to Disneyland. Seen a Heron and a hawk up close in my garden and hundreds of other experiences I would not have seen/felt etc if I had died that day.

When I see that stretch of tarmac, that familiar road sign, hell even the bus with the Bradford Bus route number on, tomorrow and the tearful memories start flooding back. I will just take a deep breathe and chant to myself. I am literally Titanium, I am strong, you are just ghosts of another life and you can not hurt me now........NOW BRADFORD GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!! :)



Saturday, 20 January 2018

Ossio Part 12

20/01/2018


Hi all attached is the link to the final part of my Ossio Vlog. I say final but I will be doing updates of my progress like physio and anything else that crops up.

https://youtu.be/epkCCRW_gLw

As I have said in previous posts I haven't been well hence the delay in producing this and why I look like a wild haired baggy eyed pigmi.

Still have kidney stones, still have I.C still plodding on as I have to.

Take care x

Saturday, 30 December 2017

Stoned!

30/12/17


Hi All

Sorry I haven't posted up a new youtube vlog with me walking yet.
First off as soon as I got back from Germany they wanted my leg to go off for servicing.
Then I didn't get a loaner unit until two weeks later. Then I was rushing around sorting out Christmas presents and a big rush on orders for my business.
Then yesterday I went to A&E after having really, really bad stabbing pains in my lower left side.
I was fine, had been since my operation. Yes I had a mini IBS attack in hospital and at the airport that time but that was down to trigger foods.
I had been having a few whiskeys over the festive season and a few mince pies (free from gluten & dairy ones). But my healthy choice of foods stayed the same. No processed rubbish, plenty of fruit and veg. No sweets, no sugar or salty foods.
Then wham! agony, I was so scared I though my appendix had burst (I have no idea where that is in the body by the way)
But this wasn't bowel/IBS wind pain and wasn't I.C Bladder burn, this was something completely different and I thought it must be severe cramp. Then after 20 mins it had worn off and reduced to a low pulled muscle feeling. Then a few seconds later it slowly built up again to the point where I was in tears thinking what the hell!
I was in so much pain that i called 999. I have never done this before ever, especially this time of year when i know emergency services are stretched.
But i was so scared and in pain, but the lady told me that i would have had a 2hr wait as my condition did not sound life threatening. So i said I'd get a taxi, i was in so much pain at this point i couldn't scroll through my phone to get the number so just did what any scared child would do and called my mum on speed dial.
I felt really stupid and she of course went into mum panic mode and called my brother inlaw to pick me up. She then got in a taxi with my dad and headed to the hospital saying she would meet us there, but also called my sister as well (who is heavily pregnant) who got in her car and went there.
By the time we had amassed on the A&E unit my pain had gone down to a dull ache again, i felt really really stupid. Especially with having all my family there Christmas week looking at me.
In the end i convinced them to go and my mum stayed with me whilst i had tests.
I then had to come back the following day for a CT scan and that's when they found out i had two kidney stones 3-4mm in size stuck up by the exit of my left kidney.
The agony i felt was the stone moving out of the kidney where it had formed and squeezing down the thin pee tube. There was pee blocked up behind it but it did not warrant surgery as the stones they said were small enough to pass down given time and lots of water on their own.
I just had to go home and munch pain killers like smarties and grin and bare it until they pass.
I'm to go back in 2 weeks for another x-ray and tests to see if they have moved/gone. I'm also going to see if i can get one when they come out because i found out there are different types.
Not just the common Calcium ones, but ones made by too much acids or a UTI infection, one that is hereditary and one that is rare and usually only in men (i bet i have that one).
Each stone requires a change in diet to stop it coming back, or medical treatment etc so i need to know what to do because i am not having reoccurring Kidney fecking stones to add to my list!!
What really pisses me off is that for the past year or so i have been on a really healthy eating routine, not a diet. But healthy life style changes. I'm mostly vegetarian, i have quorn as meat alternative. I don't have dairy like cheese (because i don't like the greasy taste anymore)
I don't have fried foods, pasties etc and don't eat sweets and cakes etc. I might have a treat at a birthday meal but that's it. Nothing to warrant fecking Kidney stones!!!
Well its new years eve tomorrow, no booze or even coffee for me :( 

Sunday, 19 November 2017

Final Ossio trip

19.11.17

Hi All


I will do an update here and a vlog post in a weeks time when I get my leg back so I can show you walking. (it has to go in for its yearly service on Monday.)

So went out again on 15th November to have a part swapped and a cast done of my knee/ upper thigh for a cosmetic cover.

DO NOT GO OUT ON 15th NOVEMBER TO HANNOVER!!!!  This just happens to be the biggest agricultural fair date where business men from all over the world come to sell their latest JCB's, tractors, produce stock etc.  Dr Aschoff failed to mention this when suggesting the date back in October. So everywhere was booked up or prices were stupid, for example I stayed in the only room that was available that wasn't a hostel. A Premier class German version with single rooms no breakfast one night usually costs 58 euros.  That date cost me 250 euros!!!! Then there was the flight out and back. Normally £250 now £450.!

I met with the technical team at 10am had the part swapped and a plaster cast done of my leg. Got the all clear from Dr Aschoff told to come back and see him in 6 months for a review and was out by 11am.  Most expensive Drs appointment ever! :)

So its 8 weeks since I had the implant, I couldn't take a step without my crutches during the first week, and it was painful to step through.

I kept walking though, knowing that I had to build up the strength in my thigh as I am no longer doing the swing through action to take a step, normally using my hip.
But now I just swing forward with my thigh like you would normally when you walk.
Having not done this for 5yrs its hard to break the habit. But the best way I have found is once the pain has eased when you put your weight through your foot. (around 5th week.) walk around the house with just a walking stick.  Hold the walking stick in your hand next to your 'real' leg, so that when you take a step you are forced to swing your false leg out and put it down with out the stick next to it to take the weight. Do this slowly just so you get used to the motion.

DO NOT try going down slopes or steps foot over foot yet, that still hurts and you are at risk of twisting your ankle which is still a big no, until at least 12 months.

I go down slopes sideways shuffle and go up and down steps like I used to with my socket leg so 'bad' first then good going down and reverse going up. Remember the mantra Bad to hell, good to heaven if your wondering what to put first.

I can currently lurch around the house without any sticks (you didn't read that Dr Aschoff!) 'Not recommended until at least 6 months in'.  But I have no pain and take it easy and when outside if its short distances like to the garage I use one stick. If walking around town then two sticks.

Its so weird when I put the leg on as I am so used to putting on all the rubber liners and stickers and Velcro, then having to wait 10mins to see if my leg is sore today to stand on and walk until I'm comfortable. Now I put it on and....nothing, just walk.

I do have another neuroma that has developed at the end where some scar tissue is and its very sore to push on but I can't feel it when I walk. Its only a problem if I have a plaster/gauze covering the lump of scar tissue and it rubs it when I walk making it tender. (I still have to wear gauze and plasters for oozing) In the new year I am going to make an appointment with Dr Dewar my plastic surgeon at NHS to cut that out and also tidy up some loose skin around the back of my thigh that I no longer need for 'socket padding.'

There are also other habits I don't need to do anymore like lifting up the toilet seat to pee. The reason for doing this was the hard plastic socket would scratch/mark the toilet seat and on one occasion when I sat down too hard knock it sideways and snap it off the back.

I bought size 10 knickers! rather than 14 because theres no socket there now to arse chew my knickers up my crack when I walk. I bought t-shirts that are fitted, and gave my size 12 baggy ones to charity as I no longer have to hide the sticking out hip I had with the socket and the ridge part by my bum.  I can wear tight pants again! BEHOLD my bottom and waist!

For the first time in over 5yrs I am actually getting my body confidence back and like what I see in the mirror. Yes it is very very expensive and if your insurance is not going to cover it I'm sorry but Ossio integration is the best thing I have had done and wish I had done it earlier.

So you will need £40,000 this is for everything, flights, hotel stays, xrays, procedures after care etc etc.

Dr Aschoff told me there are two others who are just about to start this journey and I said they are more than welcome to ask me for advice. But bare in mind everyone is different, your body is different to mine, your accident/ injury could look different to mine. You may need the whole 6/12 months to recover. You may have pain all the way through or get an infection or may not. You might have a lot of excess fat on your thigh that means you will leak for longer, maybe permanently.
Just things to bare in mind, but I hope things go well for you and I am here for any questions and support.

I will still keep updating this blog and my vlog with my progress, my aim is to get a video of my walking 'normally' with out a stick down my drive.

So till next time take care xxxx

Sunday, 22 October 2017

Ossio Vlog Update Part 11

22/10/17


Hi all


I got back from my 4th visit to Hannover on Friday 20th only went for one day this time to have the metal parts fitted on the outside of my stumpy.
They added new bits on with screws, and a rubber hammer! It vibrated every time the struck the end.
It didn't hurt just felt really uncomfortable. Like someone bashing your funny bone with a rubber hammer.
When I first stood up I thought it would hurt, that I would feel the pressure through my bone as I pressed down but I didn't.
What I did feel and still do when I try to push down and then lift up (transfer weight from foot to foot) is a sharp trapped nerve pain. I had this when I first had my big socket leg and was learning to walk for the first time.
So I just have to slowly keep applying pressure and force my nerves to either tough up or move out of the way! :)
I'm not allowed to walk with out my crutches, I cant do that anyway but stay on them for 6 months.
The weeping at the end will get heavy I have been told because I'm upright and basically squeezing water out. This should stop in time.
The leg feels very heavy but again my first leg with socket felt really heavy its just something I know with time I will get used to.
It also looks awful, but I told you it doesn't look nice but I have got rid of the socket!!!
The technical team in Hannover are making a 3D printed shield for the top part to match my ankle cover so it will look better when I wear shorts/skirts.
So at the moment I have the leg off over this weekend as the inside around the rim at the front is bruised due to the weight and its only been 3 weeks since the implant. So still very tender.
I will put the leg on for a small bit each day stand up and transfer my weight then take it off to allow the nerves to settle.
I go back to Hannover in 4 weeks for a part change and the thigh cover and then I get transferred over to the team at PACE to do physio.
But I will wait until January to book this in, give my leg time to heal and enjoy enjoy the upcoming festivities.

Below is a link to my latest Vlog

https://youtu.be/79Hw5fD6Hd4